When I first entered the Sugar Bowl, I didn’t really understand and know how things worked in the SD/SB world. I read a lot of blogs and articles in an attempt to understand more, however, there wasn’t much information out there (which is the main reason why I decided to start up this blog). Thus, I came to the conclusion that I was ready for some trial and error.
I met a man on Seeking Arrangements (one of the better sugar sites out there) who claimed he was 36 years old and worked with fashion brand marketing. We talked a bit over phone and Skype, I got his full name and he seemed quite legit. He invited me to join him to Paris for Paris fashion week (WOW!) and assured me that he would cover all of my expenses. However, my time with him quickly turned out to be hell on earth.
I should already have seen some red flags when I refused to pay for my ticket TO Paris. He told me that it was “too easy” for me to bail out on him if he pre-ordered the tickets for me. He continued telling me that he would rather have me pay my ticket to Paris, and once I was there he would give me back the money I spent and cover my return ticket as well as my expenses during the trip. Boy did he lie! I arrived in Paris and he did not even bother to pick me up! I had to take an Uber to his place, and once I was there he became quite touchy and sexual. It was pretty scary for me as it was my first night with this stranger. The icing on the whole what-the-fuck-have-I-gotten-myself-into-cake was that he looked nothing like his picture! In his pictures he looked tall and slim, but in real life he was short, chubby and hairy in all the wrong places! He also smelled quite bad and his personal hygiene was nothing to brag about (yikes!). I figured I would stay the first night at his place, and then see how I was feeling about him tomorrow. I told myself that if things got bad, I could leave at any minute.
My first day in Paris I spent waiting for him when he went to meeting after meeting. I did not get to enjoy fashion week or Paris the way I thought I would. Actually, I did not see a single show when I was there and I had to beg him for some pocket money so I could go see the Eiffel Tower. I didn’t even get to see the Louvre. On the night of the first day he introduced me to a model that was going to work for his company, and told me she was staying over in his apartment because she had nowhere to go. This turned out to be a complete lie. The girl was actually someone he met on SA, and the whole thing was just a set up for him to get a threesome with us. The man had no shame, he made us feel like a couple of prostitutes that he had hired for the weekend… The worst thing is: a prostitute would have made more money than I did during my time with him. After an awkward night of “no I am not into such things” and “I don’t want to”, the girl and I ended up bailing on him. She found someone we could stay at, and I moved our luggage there the next day.
It was an horribly awkward and uncomfortable experience that totally put me off Sugaring for a while! However, it did teach me something important:
1. If you’re going to get into a sexual SD/SB relationship, then at least make sure you are truly 100% attracted to this man, or else it is just going to be an uncomfortable 30 minutes of you closing your eyes and trying to imagine someone else. It doesn’t matter how much money or contacts the guy has; if you are not attracted to him, sex is (most likely) not going to be enjoyable.
2. It’s ok to be demanding sometimes, especially when it has to do with your own safety. Honey, your SD should DEFINITELY pay for your trip (with your own hotel room if you don’t want to share with him). You are going there to see him and spend time with him instead of working and making money on your own. Your time is precious too, and he should respect that.
3. ALWAYS, and I repeat: ALWAYS. HAVE. A. BACKUP. PLAN. It is so important! If it wasn’t for the guy the other girl found, I would have had nowhere to go! Then I would have been forced to either spend another night with the creepy man, or spend the rest of my money on an hotel room.
I hope this post highlights some of the struggles of Sugaring and can be of help to future Sugar Babies.
PS.: I still haven’t gotten the money back.